Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Play Therapy

Nothing lifts my spirits like hanging out with Noah and Courtlynn.  Their energy and excitement for life is contagious! They wear me out, but it feels good to play and be silly!! This past weekend we were able to spend some time engaged in some serious play therapy!

Here I go...
 There are many times when I will be in the middle of something and am hit with such an overwhelming feeling of sadness... it is hard to explain.  There are no triggers... just sorrow.  I couldn't help but allow myself to be overwhelmed with sadness at the idea that there will never be a day when Declan is able to play at the park.  There will never be a time where we can go exploring together.  There are so many 'things' in life that he will be missing out on.... I guess, in reality, Declan will never get to do anything... nothing....

Nana, Noah and Courty doing the train down the tornado slide
 I have to remind myself that Heaven is better than our world. Declan isn't missing out on anything.  His playground is WAY cooler than anything we have here.... there was a time when Noah would pray that God would give Dex a choice to come back....  Nate and I tried explaining that even if God gave Declan a choice, he wouldn't choose us because heaven is much more amazing than here!!

Lots of love for my kids

We are the ones missing out on being with him.... We are the ones wishing he was participating in fun activities with us.  We are the ones who wish he was here.  We are the ones missing our little Declan... but he is having the time of his life where he is... he is not missing out.

Exploring the lake, one stone at a time

 As a family we are busy trying to focus on the positive things life has to offer... evening walks, star gazing, sand castle building, family get togethers, parks, lakes and SO many other things...

Mommy and her sweet little girl
 We've learn to play harder, be sillier and to truly enjoy the time we have with our kids.  Life isn't like it once was, but I don't think it ever will be.  Death changes things.

One last time... hope I don't fall on my butt!
But change doesn't have to be bad.... just different.

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