Tuesday, March 6, 2012
I suppose people grieve differently... some people might want to live in the past, some people want to forget entirely, and then there are those in the middle. Going through grief with other people can be challenging. Even Nate and I often are experiencing our pain differently.... so I get it and understand that there are no "right" ways to grieve. However, I'm struggling with the idea that people might be uncomfortable talking about Declan. I know sometimes people think "I don't want to bring up Declan because it will make her sad." when in fact, the opposite is true. Talking about Dex makes me happy, although there are typically tears associated with those happy memories, they are just that... HAPPY. I like talking about him, I like looking at pictures of him, I like listening to music that reminds me of him, I like sleeping with his blanket, I like having him in my daily life as much as I can get him in there. If that makes someone uncomfortable... that is on them. I make no apologies for wanting to surround myself with memories of my beloved son. We talked in grief group last night that our society often puts time frames on grieving and if your still sad after a certain length of time, you should just get over it.... they've forgotten, shouldn't you?! If other people think its easier to forget, then I feel sorry for them because that isn't grieving, it is unhealthy and only prolongs the inevitable. Declan was one of the best things to happen to me and I thank God that I have his memories embedded into my life. I will NEVER forget and I will ALWAYS love and miss him.