Sunday, March 11, 2012

IN the fire

Today at church, Pastor Dennis was recapping the highlights from the Big God Series and he was speaking about a sermon he performed 4 weeks ago today... which just happened to be Declan's baptism. Of course I remembered it, but today it held a new meaning for me.  Essentially, it was about several people who believed in God and were unwilling to 'go with the flow' and worship something they didn't believe in.  The king then threw then into a burning fire and God saved them IN the fire. (Daniel 3:17)  He didn't save them FROM the fire... he saved them IN the fire.  I couldn't help but think of Nate and I... He didn't save us from suffering the loss of our child, but we know He is saving us in our sorrow of losing him.   I sat there in church, listening to those words, wondering how I missed the meaning in them the first time. There was no way to know how true those words would become for us.  Our fire, the death of Declan, was completely unforeseeable.   "Knowing the Lord and knowing His comfort does not take away our ache; it supports us in the middle of it."  He is saving us while we are in the midst of our fire... even though our hearts are broken and we know we are forever changed, both Nate and I believe God has been comforting us and holding us in his hands.  He has sent SO many people to support us and hold us up through their prayers.   I wish He had saved us from the fire. I wish Declan was still here with us.  I would give anything to see him one more time.... all I can hold on to is that I will see him again someday. Until then, I know God is saving us IN our fire.


  1. What a comforting message for you and Nate. I'm glad it found a way into your hearts.

  2. I remember that day as well. I also remember watching you with him, as he slept on your lap. I watched you trace the outline of his ear with your finger, touching every little inch of his perfect face. I remember thinking, "She knows every single inch of him..."
    I don't think I will ever forget that moment.

  3. Holle, God does know the grief you are experiencing and the unimaginable pain and ache you have for wanting to hold your son one more time. I always think of the poem "Footprints" at times like this because He is carrying you in His arms right now so you will not fall.