|Out on the boat, celebrating my 40th. |
Laughing and having the best time ever!
|The kids and I at the Henderson Classic Car show.|
It was a spur of the moment decision to go and we love it.
I was recently asked to share our story for a fundraiser event and what originally seemed like an easy task, actually was very difficult. I sat down on the computer and started and re-started our story... struggling to find the right way to begin. Nothing seemed right or appropriate... and once I finally figured out how to start, the words and the feelings poured out... tears and sobs found their way out from the depths of within and I was brought back to that day and realized I have worked very hard at tucking it away... not forgetting or lacking in memory, but putting it away to not be thought of. The pain I felt, the heat in my belly, the burning ears all were reminders of how traumatic and painful his loss was, is and will be for me. As strange as this may sound, I was actually surprised at my reaction, but in reality, the tears felt good and having the moment wash over me like it did was a healthy reminder of how far we have come. I STILL wish he was here. I STILL wish I never had to know this pain, I STILL grieve for the loss of our dreams... STILL and probably for always.