Thursday, May 31, 2012

Up, Up and Away

Sweet Declan...10 weeks old
I was sitting at the park with the kids the other day and it is right across the street from the hospital and emergency room.  The helicopter pad sits within eye's view of the park.... I can't help but wonder about the people who possibly saw us leaving the ER that Valentines day.  Did they see the helicopter come in... did they see us loading... did anyone stop for a second and say a prayer for the family that was riding inside.   Were there little kids saying, "look...a helicopter!" as they pointed at us flying by?  I remember walking out of the ER...it was cold, but considering this winter, it wasn't terrible out.  My first thought was about keeping Declan warm from the hospital to the helicopter...however, he wasn't coming out at the same time.  They waited inside until we were inside the helicopter and once I seen him coming out I could tell they had him covered up pretty good.  I walked next to the pilot who was as tall, if not taller, than Nate... so to say he was a looming presence is an understatement.  He had his blue flight outfit (for lack of a different word) on and he felt very 'official' to me.  Two other flight medics were going to be with in the back with Declan.... As we walked to the helicopter, I tried so hard to remain calm, but tears and sobbing were inevitable.  The pilot, then placed his arm around my shoulders as we walked and in an accent I wasn't familiar with said, "We are going to the best hospital, with the best doctors, he will be in good hands."  We then loaded in and off we went.   Flying in a helicopter is different than flying in a plane... it felt like we were going to drop out of the sky at any time, plus we weren't very high up.  I could see cars and houses pretty clearly.  The pilot and I had some conversation, through my head piece, I could hear the medics in the back and what they were saying to each other.   There was about 5 minutes towards the end that I could no longer hear the medics in the back and I still don't know if they just weren't talking or if they shut me out of the conversation on purpose... The trip took probably about 20 minutes, but felt like hours... it was freezing cold and obviously I was in a state of shock so time stood still.  As we came up to Minneapolis/St. Paul International airport, the pilot pointed out the lines of planes waiting to take off.... He told me they were waiting for us to clear the air space.  They had been sitting there for who knows how long, giving us the ability to fly straight through.  I wonder now if the people on those planes knew why they were waiting.  I wonder if any of them said prayers for us... I wonder if any them were silently upset at the delay in their plans... I know this is standard procedure, but it still feels special... it reminds me that there is good out there... When we landed, the pilot helped me out and as we were walking in he placed his hand on my back and said something to me... presumably something encouraging and kind, but I have no idea what, I couldn't hear a thing.  That was it... that was our journey.  This memorial day weekend,  a helicopter flew over our lake house (which is directly in the path from the Spirit Lake hospital to Sioux Falls hospitals so to see a helicopter isn't unusual) I saw it and I ran out of the house... I kept thinking of our trip... I kept thinking of the family inside... I kept looking around at the people enjoying the lake, at the people playing yard games and they were oblivious to it... their lives continued, while someone else's was hanging by a thread.  Our family was having a glorious day soaking up the sun, while another family was feeling the frailty of life... I said as many prayers as I could for that family... for strength, for the doctors, for God's will to be done.  I had a mini moment of craziness! I kept thinking, 'today that person's life is changing.  Their tomorrows will never be the same....'


8 comments:

  1. Holle you really DO have a way with words. I hope writing the posts are cathartic for you- and I"m sure they are comforting for other mother's who've had loss like you have.

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    1. Thanks Al! I hope so too... and I do find LOTS of comfort from writing down my thoughts and feelings. I thought about doing a regular journal, but just know I wouldn't stick with it. Anyway, I am loving your little puppy... I even showed her to Nate and suggested we get one :)

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  2. i will never fail to pray again when i see a helicopter passing my way

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  3. We live right next to University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics and probably have 5+ helicopters fly over our house each day. We always stop and take a moment as it passes knowing that it's a scary moment for the family inside.

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  4. EVERY time I see an ambulance or a helicopter, I say a prayer for the person they are carrying and for the family. Perspective changes once you've been the one on the inside.

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  5. Thank you for your posts. I learned of your blog about 8 weeks ago and have been reading your posts since. You are an amazingly strong woman. I pray for you and your family daily. May God continue to give you strength for your journey throughout life. Blessings are being sent your way!!

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    1. Thank you for your support and prayers! We need them!! :)

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