Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Mother's Day

Mother's day came and went... I was nervous and anxious about the day and I can say it went as good as it could. I was lucky because Nate and the kids allowed me to do what I wanted... which was to be away from civilization, away from people and secluded in my own world, surrounded by my family... and that is just what we did.  We woke up and after a nice breakfast, decided to go canoeing back by the farm I grew up on.  My dad and Nate got the canoe ready and slowly and carefully Noah, my mom, myself and Nate got in and started our trip. It was so peaceful. When I was little we used to go canoeing often, but I hadn't done it in years and it provided me with the much need quietness and solitude I was craving.  We saw a beaver, a muskrat, and lots of different birds.  The world looks different from the river... The green is more vibrant, the trees are old and large and you can't help but marvel at this world we able able to live in. You can almost forget your troubles...almost. It was perfect. I was able to take in the beauty that life has to offer and I was able to reflect on me...my life as a mother... my losses... my living children.... my husband.... it was just want I needed.  When we were done we made our way back to the lake house and did some fishing. As long as someone will bait my hook (or at least cut the worms in half for me) I am good to go.... sitting on the end of the dock, with little distractions and the sun beaming down on my back, I was again able to reflect on this new life we are leading.  I was able to spend time in prayer and in deep 'Declan' thoughts.
Here fishy fishy...
Although my heart was a wreak, I was thankful that I was able to enjoy the day.  I was thankful for my family who allowed me to sulk at times, cry at times and be down right moody at times.  I was thankful that at the end of the day I was able to appreciate being a mother. I was thankful that I found pleasure in the small things... the canoe ride, fishing, swimming... warm hugs, butterfly kisses, I love you's, the "mom watch this..." comments...the taco house.  When we finally made our way home, I walked in with a heavy heart, but as the kids, Nate and I gathered in Noah's room for our evening prayers I realized just how much I have to be thankful for.
My three babies...

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