Tuesday, April 3, 2012

What makes a mother?



Gone yet not forgetten, although we are apart, your spirit lives within me, forever in my heart.




"Can you be a Mother when your baby is not with you?  I thought of you and closed my eyes and prayed to God today.  I asked “What makes a mother?” and I know I heard Him say, “A mother has a baby”.  This we know is true.  “But God, can you be a mother when your baby’s not with you?”  “Yes you can,” He replied with confidence in His voice.  “I give many women babies, when they leave is not their choice.  Some I send for a lifetime, and others for the day and some I send to feel your womb, but there’s no need to stay.” “I just don’t understand this God I want my baby to be here.”  He took a deep breath and cleared His throat, and then I saw the tear.  “I wish I could show you, what your child is doing today.  If you could see your child’s smile, with all the other children and say…”  “We go to earth to learn our lessons of love and life and fear.  My mommy loved me oh so much, I got to come straight here.  I feel so lucky to have a mom who had so much love for me.  I learned my lessons very quickly, my mommy set me free.  I miss my mommy oh so much but I visit her everyday.  When she goes to sleep on her pillows where I lay.  I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek, and whisper in her ear, “mommy don’t be sad today, I’m your baby and I’m here.”  “So you see my dear sweet ones, your children are okay.  Your babies are born here in my home and this is where they’ll stay.  They’ll wait for you with me until your lessons through.  And on the day that you come home they’ll be at the gates for you.  So now you see what makes a mother, It’s the feeling in your heart.  It’s the love you had so much of right from the very start.  Though some on earth may not realize you are a mother until their time is done.  They’ll be up here with me one day and know that you are the best one.”


I stumbled across this little story today and it touched my heart.  There is some truth to wondering how to be a mom when your child has passed away.  How do I keep Declan a part of our life and how to juggle Noah and Courty with my desire to somehow keep Declan ever present in our home...  Yes he passed away, but that isn't the point... the point is HE LIVED and I was lucky enough to be his mom and I want to do the best I can to preserve that relationship and those feelings.  


Ours for a little while, with Jesus forever



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