Thursday, February 14, 2013

One year...

Today happened... it came.  I was dreading it, fearing it actually.  Trying to figure out what we could do that would honor Declan.  That would help our broken hearts in their healing.  

We decided we wanted to give back to those who helped us... to those who fought for Declan's life.  We brought lunch to the St. Peter police department and enjoyed their company as we got to know the police officers and the detectives who assisted in Declan's care.

We talked about this day last year... we talked about the impact it had on all of us.  We laughed, I cried... it was wonderful to meet them and to embrace them! 

Officer Ryan has kind enough to allow me to hold his hands... to hold the hands that assisted my son's heart to beat... the hands that helped ensure that my family and I would get to have our moment with Declan... that we would get to say our good-byes to him while he was still present in this world. 

After lunch, we took a tray of baked goods to Noah's school, South Elementary to treat the staff that work there.  We have felt nothing but support and love from the teachers and other personnel that work there. Noah's teacher last year and his teacher this year sent us special notes to let us know they were thinking of us. 

After dropping off the goodies, we brought another tray of deliciousness over to the emergency room staff here at Rivers Edge hospital in St. Peter.  When we arrived at the reception area, we told our story to the young lady working the desk, another lady over heard our us talking and said, "I remember you, we were just speaking of you this morning."  She was kind enough to allow us back to the ER to meet one of the people that was working that terrible day... we came in and she came around the corner, she put her hands over her mouth and said "Shut up" with tears in her eyes... she recognized us in matter of seconds. She told us that she thinks about Declan every day.  It was fabulous to meet her and to know he is remembered! 

We ended our day by going out to supper... coming home, getting the kids tucked in and chilling out with each other.  I didn't know what to expect about today... I wasn't sure how I would feel... but I couldn't have asked for it to be any better.  Meeting the police officers and the Emergency room nurse, solidified that there are great people out there who do the right thing, even when they don't have to.  To all the men and women who worked so hard to give us one last day with our son, Nate and I say THANK YOU! 

This photo was taken on Valentine's day last year, around 6:45 in the morning. Clearly, we didn't know if would be the last one of our beloved Declan and his brothers and sister, but thank God we took it. 

A glimpse into our day a year ago at this time...

A brief look into our 365 days of healing... 

Play therapy in early April 

Butterfly release in memory of our lost loved one

Floating lanterns on Memorial day

Family vacation 

Running for Declan at the Color Run

Declan tattoo... I refuse to sink

Hope Rocks concert - benefit to support Faith's Lodge

Adding new hand made decorations to Declan's grave site

"Celebration of life" floating lanterns gathering with over 80 friends and family members supporting us on Declan's 1st birthday

Preparing for Valentines day by being at his grave site

Sending unending love to our son 

Giving flowers to our little man... 

We miss you and love you Declan Lloyd, your memory will never be forgotten... 



  1. what a grateful i have gotten to know him through your blog

  2. Thanks for helping me have a good cry this morning. In a strange way I needed it. You guys are amazing for being able to talk about your love and pain. We had a two month old die here in our church on Halloween last fall. As I went to the hospital to minister to them it is amazing how that moment does become a part of your life too. I know I only met your husband briefly, but I really enjoyed my short time with you at camp Holly. You are an amazing person and a wonderful light into how God can bring hope and love in the midst of incredible pain. Sometimes like today, I am just really hoping Jesus comes back soon. I would love to meet Declan, and I can't wait for God to wipe away every tear from your eye. God bless you guys, and our family will remember you in our prayers.

    1. Thank you for your comment Levi! It means so much to me to hear from you! I am hopeful for His return as well! To walking into Heaven's gates with my family by my side would be amazing! There is a saying that someone in my grief group shared with me and it is "Come quickly Lord, all of us are waiting and not one of us would be disappointed." :)

  3. You never cease to amaze me how you have been able to turn pain into healing. How brave of you to go out of your comfort zone and give yourselves to the fire dept, the ER and Noah's school. I see that your actions were mightily blessed. Praise God for your obedience. You've been in my thoughts and prayers. Let's go to lunch soon.

    1. Lunch would be wonderful Barb!! Please give me a call here at work and we can set a date! :)