We are quickly approaching the 6 month passing of my sweet boy. I can not believe it. I wonder where the time has gone... Every day that passes is of course, one day closer to seeing him again someday... but that isn't comforting right now. Unless I die abnormally young, I will most likely be around for another 60 or more years. I can't imagine not being with him for 60 more years. I can't imagine... I continue to wish time would stop so the memories would stay fresh, so I would remember his smell and be able to hear his adorable voice in my head... so his sister would say his name everyday without forgetting the little boy she loved SO much... so that I can still feel the pain of losing him. That sounds crazy... but I know that the pain will get 'tolerable' and there will come a time when my breath doesn't get taken away while I think of him, where the tears won't come so easily, where my chest doesn't ache with sadness. There will come a time when my smile isn't forced or my happiness isn't tainted by guilt... but to me, those things are all I have of my Declan. They remind me of him daily... hourly... I'm sad... sad that he passed away and sad that time continues to drag me away from my memories of him.