Day by day

I think I have heard that I will need to take things "day by day" about a million times.  And really... it has proven to be true.  Today I was so sad, just going through the motions of my day.  I made it through work just fine, but the evening was once again difficult.  We had conferences for Noah and he is doing so well... I am so proud of him.  He made this little video for us and something about it brought brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't help but think that we will never get to go to a conference for Dex.  We will never have a teacher tell us how great he has been doing in school.  The world will not have the chance to know how wonderful he would have been.  My heart breaks for so many reasons and today it was for the little boy we won't get to watch grow up.... it was for the silly things that Noah does that makes me think, 'Declan would have LOVED doing that.'  It was breaking for the teenager that I will never fight with, it was for girlfriends we will never have to deal with, it was for never going to watch him play basketball with his friends, it was for snuggles and giggles and kisses and hugs that I won't get to have.  UGH...

Tomorrow is a new day... hopefully the kids will sleep well and tomorrow will bring a sense of peace to my sorrow.

Good night Declan... I love you to the moon and back!