Precious Child

Last night, Nate and I and the kids went to a Pregnancy and Infant loss remembrance day service in Mankato.  It was a really well done tribute, but we were the only family there... which kind of gave me the giggles.  There were moments when I was biting my lip, trying to hold in laughter and then the next moment I had tears running down my face.  I was a mess...  but I kind of think that is how this whole grief thing goes.  I am a mess one moment and literally not the next.  Laughter and tears... such a odd mix of emotions to experience so close together.   When I am able to laugh and be happy, I often feel guilty.  Like feeling joy and experiencing happiness means I have forgotten or that I didn't love Declan as much as I should have.  It's a internal battle that someone else's words of wisdom will not help me understand.  It is something I have to figure out for myself... it is my journey that only I can figure out how to navigate.  Anyway, they played this song that I had never heard of and I liked it.  I wanted to share because it touched me. 

In my dreams, you are alive and well
Precious child, precious child
In my mind, I see you clear as a bell
Precious child, precious child
In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart, there is hope
'Cause you are with me still

In my heart, you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart

In my plans, I was the first to leave
Precious child, precious child
But in this world, I was left here to grieve
Precious child, my precious child

In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart there is hope
And you are with me still

In my heart you live on
Always there, never gone
Precious child, you left too soon,
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart

God knows I want to hold you,
See you, touch you
And maybe there's a heaven
And someday I will again
Please know you are not forgotten until then

In my heart you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart

Precious Child by Karen Taylor