The unimaginable

A young man from a neighboring town was killed in a bike accident this weekend.  The first thing I said to Nate after hearing the news was "I can hardly imagine what they are going through."  Then it was like I was hit in the face with a brick.. I can hardly imagine what they are going through?! What the heck was I thinking?! Not only can I imagine, I KNOW what they are going through.  I really couldn't believe I said that... it was like for one moment I forgot.  How could I have forgotten?  Did I forget or was that a gut reaction to say that? Is it an automated response?  I really don't know what that means,  BUT I do know what they are going through... I know what it is like in the few seconds after they tell you that your son is no longer alive.... I do know what it is like walking out of the hospital, feeling numb and like your watching a bad movie of someone else's life... I know what the day afterwards feels like (the worst day by far!)... I know how terrible it feels to plan your child's funeral...  When I allow myself to remember how we felt, the emotions we had when we lost Declan... I am able to have an empathy for this family that I don't believe I would have had prior to our loss.  Perhaps as we continue to grieve and move forward on our journey that will be the one positive thing that comes from Dex's death... our ability to potentially help others through their loss and a deeper understanding of what losing a child really means... of the new life you have no choice but to make for yourself.  I pray for this family and for what their tomorrows will bring... it is a journey I wouldn't wish on anyone.